Rise: An Update

Well, it’s August so it isn’t exactly mid year, but you know what I mean. I know I’ve said this before, but honestly, I can’t tell you how mind-blasting it is what one word can do.

Sometimes I’m thinking of it consciously, but mostly, I forget about my one little word for 2014 and just live life. But there’s something to be said about making an intention for the year. I had many hopes and aspirations at the end of 2013, and rise was perfect, because all of them meant rising to an occasion that could be risky and potentially scary.

Half way into this year, I have a fledgling business in partnership with The Redhead for which I have high hopes. Half way into this year, I had to make a dramatic decision which resulted in moving back home with my family. I fixed my relationship with food and am well on my way to being fit again (more on this later). And I’m repairing some battered relationships (which turned out to not be as scary as I thought it would be). Continue reading

20 Random Things

  1. I am a hopeless romantic in my head.
  2. I could dance all day everyday and still want to dance more.
  3. I’ve read Lady Knight by Tamora Pierce more than 100 times, no exaggeration.
  4. I’m so full of daydreams I wouldn’t be surprised if I floated off into the sky one day.
  5. When I’m coding in full force, there is only The Code. Food, water, the heat, nothing exists.
  6. Music has saved me more times than I care to count.
  7. I’m deathly afraid of showing vulnerability, but when I am, amazing things happen.
  8. My best friend and I laugh a lot often for no reason that anyone but us could comprehend..and I think that’s one of the reasons why we’re best friends.
  9. The first poem I can remember writing was about berries.
  10. If someone asks, yes there was a tornado and it happened to only hit my room. That’s normal, right?
  11. My aunt and uncle gave me a chain and an Allah locket when I was 8 or 9. Unless I take it off for something particular, I’ve worn it every since.
  12. I hate shoe shopping but I admire shoes.
  13. The only reason I’m getting my [car] driving license is because I need one before I can get my motorcycle driving license.
  14. I’ve recently been converted to the awesomeness of Sauerkraut, courtesy of the Redheaded Best Friend.
  15. One day, I will conquer my fear of being on camera.
  16. Every time I start worrying what people might think, I remind myself, every damn good thing that has ever happened to me happened when I didn’t give a single shit what anyone thought.
  17. I hope I never get too old to shriek with laughter and chase or get chased around the house/park/party/playground.
  18. One day I’ll actually finish writing a novel.
  19. One day I’ll actually send Redhead that story I promised I’d send her.
  20. When I chose the my one little word for 2014 to be rise, I didn’t realize just how perfect it was for everything that has happened so far.

Part Story Part Confession Part Rant Part Reflection

I have big dreams. Some of them a little unconventional, others even more bizarre (from the perspective of some other people). And I don’t dream things for the sake of dreaming, I dream them with every intention of making them come true. I know what sort of life I want to live and I’m not afraid to do what I have to in order to get there. My family has not always been the most receptive about all my ideas.

I spent one year going behind their backs, doing things that tons of people do – sneak out, lie, hide shit, etc – things I’d never done before, all in the name of my dreams and desires. Let me tell you something, it sucked. I know lots of people who do it and consider it the way it has to be because the parents would never get it, but this was never my style. I didn’t sneak out, I didn’t hide. If I was doing something, I told them straight up, they could disapprove and get mad and we could have fights, but they’d always know. So if some desi aunty decided to come and tattle tale because she saw me doing something or hanging out with someone, my parents would never be surprised. Good or bad, I made sure my parents knew first. Continue reading

With a Megaphone

I’ve been blogging for 4 years, of which two are on this blog you’re reading. I don’t know who is reading this right now. You could be someone I know in real life or you could be a perfect stranger. Enough people read that I know it’s a mix of both. Some of you reach out and some of you are silent readers. A couple people I know in real life admitted to reading the blog to understand better what was going on in my head, once.

A few weeks ago, a reader, let’s call her Mina, emailed me, asking why I talked about my life publicly. I could just as well write this all on a password protected blog and only let a few people read it. I’d still be writing, right? My Mom asked me this question once too, but I never did a particularly good job of explaining it. Continue reading

Giving YYC a Chance

My family moved to Calgary two-ish years ago. I moved here with them and lived here for a year, but I never gave this city or its people a chance. I didn’t want to be here and I made no effort to try to show up. I lived here like a guest. And then I left for Edmonton last September with considerable private relief, because I’d finally have a social life again and live in a city I enjoyed.

School’s done. Some shit happened. Now I’m in Calgary again and I’ve decided I have to give this place a chance. To be very honest, I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to do that. How the hell does one make friends when you work from home, don’t have school to meet people through, and most of your family’s friends have kids you don’t really connect with except for some here and there? Continue reading

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