Start with Desire End with Integrity

If someone were to write down the story of my life so far and then analyze it for patterns, at least one pattern would emerge. Again. And again. And again. The pattern would be so: 

Aurooba has a desire. Aurooba acts on desire. Aurooba learns desire is not considered correct or appropriate. Aurooba attempts to curb and completely squash desire to gain approval. Aurooba gets more and more pent up. One day Aurooba can’t take it anymore and lashes out with her desire like a vicious whip that keeps on cracking. Aurooba hurts people, people hurt Aurooba. Aurooba slowly comes to an equilibrium, where she learns her desire is not wrong, no matter what others may say, and she learns how to not be vicious about it but still express her desire.

Ain’t that funny. (No, not really.)

So now that I’ve recognized and come to terms with this pattern, what am I going to do about it? Continue reading

Equality and All That: A Conversation

We’re in the basement, sitting in a triangle around a sheesha. That’s me, my brother, and one of his best friends. Let’s call them Bro and Dude. We’re engrossed in a conversation about fitness, when this happens.

Dude asks me suddenly, ‘Wait, are you a feminist?’ 

I stare at him, there was definitely a negative tone there; in my mind I’m thinking ‘you don’t like feminists, eh?’. 

Bro goes, ‘Dude, what do you think? C’mon.’  Continue reading

Quitting The Like

This article showed up on Facebook, WHO posted it, I don’t remember, but it piqued my curiosity and I clicked over. Interesting read about a woman’s experience with how the Facebook algorithm interpreted her activity. I wanted to try it. Not because I was seeing a lot of awful things on Facebook, unnecessarily, I mean I saw my fair share, but because of this passage: 

When I disallowed myself Facebook’s Like function as a method of communication, I was left with this unmet desire to let people know I heard them or liked their content, and I suddenly felt invisible. I was reading, but no one knew I was there, which made me realize that my habitual style of Facebook interaction had to change. Without the Like function to rely on, I had to comment or risk looking anti-social and experience even more disconnection, so I started commenting more than I ever had before on the platform.
..
I had been suffering a sense of disconnection within my online communities prior to swearing off Facebook likes. It seemed that there were fewer conversations, more empty platitudes and praise, and a slew of political and religious pageantry. It was tiring and depressing. After swearing off the Facebook Like, though, all of this changed. I became more present and more engaged, because I had to use my words rather than an unnuanced Like function. I took the time to tell people what I thought and felt, to acknowledge friend’s lives, to share both joys and pains with other human beings.

Continue reading

Fitbit: A Love Affair

I discovered the Fitbit in the fall of 2011 when they first announced the Fitbit Ultra and I thought it was SO COOL. But I was a poor university student who didn’t have extra money to splurge on wearable technology. Especially because at the time, I was in some of the best shape of my life and I only wanted it because I’m a member of the quantifiable self movement and well..it was cool!

Then she got one as a birthday gift last year and I kept eyeing it. I was trying not to spend money unnecessarily and I couldn’t justify buying it to myself. But man, I wanted a Fitbit.

But now? Now there was a bracelet model that I thought much more convenient, and let’s be honest, as an online entrepreneur who had somehow found herself in a thoroughly inactive lifestyle, I needed it. Continue reading

How Not to Waste Away Your Life

By nature, I am not an outdoorsy-spontaneous person. I will happily spend the whole day lying on the ground with my hands behind my head daydreaming or listening to music or just being random on the computer. I always think well, if I lived in _____ or I had _______ or _______ was near, then I would be. But I’ve vacationed in Vegas, lived on my own in Edmonton, and lived 5 minutes from a fantastic mall and go-cart place (which is quite fun by the way)..and nope, nothing of that ever manifested. But I have travel-lust and brazen dreams, and for the most part I’m happy to say, I walk the talk (which is why I have to be so careful when I talk about my dreams. I hate telling people and then not making them happen.)

So I’m an introverted homebody with insane dreams and a drive to make them come true. Continue reading

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