The Fault In Our Stars

FIRST. Let it be noted that this is the first new book I’ve read this year. And it’s January 30. And I’m a self-proclaimed bookworm.

I know.

Now. At my very short stint working at a Coles bookstore, I recommended this book at least every other day. But of course, I’d never read it. In FACT, I’d never read ANY of John Green’s books, although I knew a shit ton about him, because he’s a Youtuber and I love his videos. All I knew was from the book jacket lapel of this bright blue book that was unforgettable, and I enthusiastically recommended it to tons of people, who would later come back and tell me OH MY GOD YOU WERE RIGHT IT’S SO GOOD! And then I would smile and recommend another book I hadn’t actually read (or maybe I had, I had luckily read a LOT of the books in the bookstore..but that’s because I read a lot in general..despite this being the first book I’ve read this year.)

See. Last year, I spent a lot of time re-reading many books. And it was a really really great thing for me. I have read so many books, and I thoroughly enjoyed going back and picking out the great book loves of my life and reading them again after a long time apart from them. And it brought a lot of comfort in a year that was very crazy (the crazy was much of my own making).

But this year. This year is RISE, man. This year is about new stuff and venturing into the unknown like a courageous adventurer who’s determined to make something of her year..and subsequently her life, one day. And every great adventurer must have the all important gadgets that will aid her (mis)adventures. For me, those gadgets definitely include books. New books. Books that plunge into me and leave an undeniable mark..or they don’t, who knows?

Books fuel my fire. And it was time to add new wood to my fire instead of tending to the coals.

And I’m determined to track my books. Not haphazardly as I have done in the part, but with purpose and deliberation.

So naturally, I made a Goodreads account. I’ve seen tons of people have accounts and track books, discover books, and review books on there. And I’ve decided to VERY BELATEDLY join in.

I hope you realize that so far I HAVE been reviewing the book. This book made me write like that. I’m like some cross between Van Houten (the author they obsess over) and Augustus (the main boy character), except I’m not a drunk, I don’t have cancer, and I can’t for the life of me ever come up with the following AMAZING LINE THAT I COMPLETELY HEAD OVER HEELS FELL IN LOVE WITH:

My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.

I love stars. I love constellations. I’m one of those people who has A FAVOURITE CONSTELLATION. And that metaphor is so awesomesauce.

This book is awesome. I see why people like it so much. I see why it’s being turned into a movie (that trailer is good, and it has some of the best lines from the book).

It’s about this girl who has terminal cancer. And how cancer is not pretty, and cancer kids are and are not brave but the fight is hard and even the braveness gives out at times. And how she doesn’t want to be a grenade in people’s lives. She doesn’t want this boy Augustus to love her, because one day she’ll die and she’ll have exploded, leaving shrapnel in the hearts of people she loves.

I get it. And it’s almost selfless, but it’s actually selfish, because this way she doesn’t get hurt either. But then life happens, it has made a habit of doing that in our lives, and the tables turn..left and upside down.

And Issac goes blind and Monica leaves him, WHO LEAVES A GUY WHO LOSES HIS EYES TO CANCER IN SUCH A BRUTAL WAY? But it’s not her fault he has cancer. And it’s not his either. So it’s a mess, and I am not sure there was any way to get out of it without hurt happening.

It’s life and someone is going to get hurt. Y’know?

This book is so John Green.

And I so get this book. I don’t have cancer. I don’t know anyone who has had cancer. But people I have loved have died. People I have loved that have died that have died because of illness.

And it’s not our fault.

It’s just the fault in our stars.