I’ve been thinking about fate, lately. About what’s ‘meant’ to happen, what does happen, and what our role is in all of that. This past week, I helped a friend get through a really bad break up. I also went to a fantastic event. And it all just made me think.
In business, the first few years, you have to hustle. Nothing falls into your lap. If you want it, you’re going to have to go after it, it’s not a waiting game, it’s a chasing game. That’s what they say anyway, whoever they are.
In love, some people will tell you to chase the guy. Others will tell you to set up the situation so he can chase you. Some more will tell you to fill out personality tests and get matched. I get all sorts of unsolicited advice from all sorts of people: desi aunties, random Facebook friends, my grandmother’s friends, an ad I’m forced to sit through while I watch TV. Somehow, you are still chasing. Because, it’s not a waiting game, after all.
Waiting is for chumps.
But when I look at my life and the great and wonderful and life changing things that happened to me, that doesn’t ring true. I never chased anything good that happened to me. I didn’t chase the best friend, I didn’t chase the life-changing residence, I didn’t chase the Waterloo program, I didn’t chase web developing skills, I didn’t change the first city I fell in love with (Fort McMurray), I didn’t chase a boy, heck, I didn’t even chase my business.
But I have an amazing best friend, I lived in International House and it changed the whole way I looked at the world, I got in and enjoyed an amazing few weeks at University of Waterloo while still in high school, I can code a web app or website, I know what it’s like to love a city, I had an amazing guy in my life for 4 wonderful years, and business is good, man.
But I didn’t wait for anything. I’m one of the most impatient people I know. Waiting is not in my dictionary.
So guys, it’s going to be a cliché post. If you’re not interested in that, you might as well stop reading now.
Everything good happened to me when I was ridiculously busy being myself. I was whoever I was and landed a best friend. I just applied and wrote what I thought and got into International House. I applied and then went and did crazy things at Waterloo, I followed my curiosity and ended up with a set of skills that I’m making a career out of, I got out there and involved and fell for a city, I didn’t care one fuck what anyone thought and lived to my tune and found someone who dug that, I chose to have a business and then we did the work we could see, and now we’re landing clients and making money.
Life happens while you’re living it being you, not while you’re sitting there clicking and unclicking a pen worrying about what someone said or what someone might do or how something might be.
And PSA people. Just worry about being the best possible you, not about what other people find attractive or not. If he’s interested, he’ll pick up the phone and get in touch. And if he doesn’t? Then it’s not worth it, anyway. Wouldn’t you rather pay attention to someone who wants to pay attention to you too? This goes for friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, business partners, sponsors, everyone. If you want to talk to them, do it. And if they don’t want to talk to you, drop it. Life’s too short to pay attention to people looking in another direction.
This is not an excuse to be lazy and not fix that bad habit of using derogatory terms, you can’t just say well that’s who I am, if you don’t like it, your loss. No. This is about saying that yes, you are opinionated and independent and hate pink; not cool with that? Your loss.
So ladies – because somehow, we seem to be more prone to this than men: stop analyzing what that potential friend, boyfriend, boss, sponsor, what-have-you said and did to the last tiny detail. Say what you mean and spend time with people who say that they mean. Because knowing what you want and being honest about it is sexy.
Go be you. Breathe, you’ll see, everything will be alright. In fact, it just may be fabulous.